Jesus is making me gain weight.

I don’t know what weird hormonal treachery is going on in my thyroid but I. Want. Meat.

I have wanted meat all day. (Well, that and sangria. I love sangria. In fact, I want some now.) I wanted it for lunch. I wanted it around 5:00. And I wanted it even more when my dad decided tonight was a good time to make tasty seasoned taco meat.

But it’s Friday, and instead I had cheese and crackers for lunch and pasta with broccoli for dinner.

I still really wanted meat.

So I crushed up Oreos and put them in the vat of already cookies-and-cream ice cream I was eating and then consumed it quickly, with whipped cream and maybe a couple milanos afterwards.

I hope God is happy.

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