Oprah’s Book Club must die

Because every time she updates, I get 16 billion housewives foaming at the mouth and I want to start throwing things at them (preferabbly something like a harder, more intelligent book. Maybe in hardcover.)

An because she picks such weird titles, it took me a couple times to get it, too, because everybody would rush up to me and be like, “OMG NEW EARTH WHERE IS IT!?!?!” and I’d be all, “What? Leave me alone. God, I’m trying to shop here.” They should have specified “The Bright Orange Book that People Are Buy Up Like It Will Show Them The Way Out of Their Loveless Sexless Suburban Marriages”, and then I would have been able to tell them right where it was.

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