More LSAT Goodness

I was seized with a burst of industriousness (is that even a word?) today and actually took the LSAT diagnostic test that I was unable to complete yesterday because I vomiting in fear.

And well, it was hard and boring.

I scored 152 out of 180, which is abysmally low if it was an actual score, but in the top half of percentile rankings. Because I’m crazy, I went online and discovered that this score is actually enough to get me into the school I want to go to. Not bad for sitting on my bed not even trying. Also got a little bit bored with all the alien questions (Seriously, there was a lot of scenarios involving aliens, and no, I don’t know why.) and started just filling in dots. I did turn off my iPod, but that was as close to the apparently all-important “actual test conditions” as I was going to get. My time was decent too, I did the whole thing in about an hour and twenty minutes, so I had an hour of time left.

All of this, of course, means nothing. Because I’m not going to law school, I’m going to get an MA in history, but I’m ignoring that.

Next week we’ll get to the GRE test. This will be accompanied by more fear heaving and probably some tears because this will actually impact my life and NO ONE WILL LOVE ME IF I’M NOT SMART.

Oh the fun we shall have.

***

What else did I do today? Um, there was coffee. And I straightened my hair (Update: It will be cut and styled next Saturday. Yay!), which was massive amounts of fun and served only to exacerbate my already cramped neck after the whole test thingy.

Wow. This was ridiculously exciting. Aren’t you thrilled you know me?

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Legally Blonde Did Not Prepare Me For The Real World

The LSATs?

Fuggin’ hard, y’all.

It’s LSAT week here in my self-imposed Summer of Crazed Studying For Tests I Won’t Take For a Year, and DAMN.

In Legally Blond, Elle idly read the prep book on the the stairmaster, and then flounced off to take them, received her insanely high scores and got engaged on the same night.

I read several sample questions and got dizzy. Also started to cry a little when “Put self out of misery with board-approved #2 pencil” was not one of the multiple choice answers. I was told that my background in logic and the fact that I’m an “algebra” person (As opposed to those wacky, spatially-oriented geometry types. I prefer to trip over my shoes, but apparently I score higher on standardized tests.) would make things easier. Ha. I disagree.

This test (remember, this TEST I’M ONLY TAKING FOR FUN AND HOW THE FREAKING HELL AM I THE ONLY ONE IN THIS FAMILY NOT ELIGIBLE FOR PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS?!?!?!) is also administered under third-world conditions, where you’re holed up in a room for five hours with three pencils (not mechanical) and a solitary tampon.

No. I’m serious. You can bring pencils and a feminine hygiene product. I’m guessing some girl put herself through law school, realized she was $200,000 in debt and probably didn’t even want to be a lawyer in the first place, and decided to feign toxic shock syndrome and sue the administrators of the test.

Hey. That actually sounds like a plan.

I swear, American Idol really doesn’t have that much to do with my life.

It just so happens that tonight, both my topics are related.

Shall we get the whole Clay Aiken having a baby thing out of the way? Because I’m startled and confused and slightly nauseated by this. The wording of the article is slightly ambiguous, but I’m pretty sure that they’re not actually together. Most likely because she has girl parts.

So yeah. Clay Aiken is reproducing with the 50-year-old sister of David Foster. I believe the four horsemen should be arriving next week sometime?

My second link is really the second video found here, where the little Entertainment Weekly staffer tells David Cook about her dream where they were making out, and then her Entertainment Weekly partner has to pull her off him and go, “Hey, I like your wedding ring!” I laughed and I laughed.

And agreed. I love him to death. He should release an album quickly, because I would so buy it. Like the real one, not steal a complimentary copy from work and copy it into my library, but a real plastic CD and all. He’s adorable. I want to have his babies.

And pssh, no, Time of My Life is not the most played song on my iPod yet. That would be weird.

ETA: Another album I’m buying a real copy of? Coldplay’s newest, only because of the cover art, one of my favorite paintings ever. Delacroix’s Liberty Leading the People, from 1830. I could also tell you that Liberty is a symbolic representation indicating the political culture of the time, and that she was portrayed as topless to invoke the classical goddesses from ancient times, or that the color pallet was muted to make the red of the French flag stand out more, framing the above mentioned symbolic figure. But you probably don’t want to know that.

I would like to know why they used this painting, along with very French themes (at least in Viva La Vida) with a Spanish title that is actually the title of a Frida Kahlo work. It makes very little sense.

I’ll look like a huge, puffy, marshmallow virgin.

I don’t like summer. I hate being hot, I hate the humidity that does ungodly awful and unnatural things to my hair, and I really, really hate beign forced to give up my flattering sweaters and peacoat for short sleeves.

But I actually went shopping today, and managed to spend a hundred dollars and find several items that didn’t make me want to retch at the sight of myself, so that was a success, I suppose. And my mom was able to come with me, which was lovely and fun. When I shop alone I get depressed and end up convinced that nothing looks good so I waste an hour, get really sad, and then come home with nothing. It is not a pleasant experience.

Several of the items that were left in the store were white dresses. This further enforced the idea I already had that I will never, ever look good in a white wedding dress. This is rather depressing as I am one of approximately three women in the United States who are fully capable of wearing white on their wedding days, and dammit, I want to be able to wear white!

I suppose it’s a good thing I have found someone to design my dress. He’s got his work cut out for him.

Memorial Day

Perhaps? When I was watching the Memorial Day concert last night I should have been thinking more than, “Joe Mantegna! Can you tell me who’s car that was!?!?!?! I need to know!”

I did laugh a little because it was exactly like Wednesday night on CBS, but, you know, with fewer dead hookers.

Then I got really sad when they did the yearly Charles Durning montage, discussing all the crap he went through in WWII, like D-Day, The Battle of the Bulge, and then dealing with concentration camps. I felt really guilty about leaving to refresh my drink and get more taco salad during his acceptance speech at the SAG awards. I’ve never had to clean up after Hitler.

But then I saw this and it cheered me up.

cat
more cat pictures

Your Majesty,

Hi! You don’t know me, but I really want to marry your grandson. See, I’m going to be ridiculously overeducated and yet unprepared for any real job involving real skills in the real world. We’d be perfect for each other!

(Except that religion thing. As much as I long to be consort, I’m not willing to damn my immortal soul. And one of those pesky little automatic excommunication thingies? Is rejecting the Church. Along with abortion and absolving your partner in sins against chastity. As I have not had an abortion or been ordained recently, this is pretty much the only one I have to watch out for. We’ll talk, okay?)

And I’d just like you to know that I would never sell my wedding pictures, thus embarrassing you and your family. Please. I barely want to look at them. I’d prefer to remember it as a happy day. See? Look how well this would all work out. William can contact me through this blog.

Thank you, and have a lovely day.

Sincerely,

Morena

P.S. Please ignore the profanity and questionable topics discussed here. Youthful indiscretions. I promise you, there are no pictures of anyone sucking on my toe *cough*Fergie*cough*.

Seven Years

Seven years ago Memorial Day weekend was kind of a turning point in my life. Nothing terribly huge happened, it just changed things. I’m no paragon of aged wisdom here at twenty, but as I get older it never ceases to amaze me how quickly time goes, and how much things change.

I spent the weekend with Mary. We really became friends that weekend, bonding over horses- definitely the most important thing in both of our lives at the time. She wanted to be a veterinarian, I wanted to own and breed horses. Neither of us could see the 2o-year-olds we would become, but I think if we could have we would have liked it.

We’re still best friends, at the same school, but this time she wants a masters in library science and I’m going to become a history professor. I have a lot of stories and feelings about the last seven years, but most of the best ones involve her- this is why I burst out laughing and cried when she gave me a book about Heloise and Abelard with a pink shirt drawn on the front page for my birthday. 🙂 She’s even taking extra credits next semester so she can graduate with me.

Everything has changed so much in the past seven years- I was in seventh grade, home schooled, and scared to death that I would never be able to go back to school because I wasn’t smart enough. I did go back to school, obviously, and I have a 3.8 GPA (in spite of the harmonica of death). I was so thankful that my family was finally finished with illness. Um. Yeah. No.

I wonder where I’ll be in seven years. If my life goes according to plan I’ll have already have a master’s degree, and be almost finished with my doctorate. I could be married, my mother was married at 27. I could be a mother.

But then, I thought I’d be raising horses now, didn’t I?

It’ll be fun to see what happens.