Your Majesty,

Hi! You don’t know me, but I really want to marry your grandson. See, I’m going to be ridiculously overeducated and yet unprepared for any real job involving real skills in the real world. We’d be perfect for each other!

(Except that religion thing. As much as I long to be consort, I’m not willing to damn my immortal soul. And one of those pesky little automatic excommunication thingies? Is rejecting the Church. Along with abortion and absolving your partner in sins against chastity. As I have not had an abortion or been ordained recently, this is pretty much the only one I have to watch out for. We’ll talk, okay?)

And I’d just like you to know that I would never sell my wedding pictures, thus embarrassing you and your family. Please. I barely want to look at them. I’d prefer to remember it as a happy day. See? Look how well this would all work out. William can contact me through this blog.

Thank you, and have a lovely day.

Sincerely,

Morena

P.S. Please ignore the profanity and questionable topics discussed here. Youthful indiscretions. I promise you, there are no pictures of anyone sucking on my toe *cough*Fergie*cough*.

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