Olympic Self-Loathing

So, you guys know me, right? I mean, you’re all related to me, and you’ve been reading my drivel for, like, over three years now. (You know, back when blogging was cool and something that people who didn’t have fertility issues did.) Ergo, you know that blogging? Is pretty much the only thing I’ve managed to stick with.


I have a horse in the backyard. A flute upstairs in my closet that I actually received as a gift for Christmas because my parents got tired of paying rental fees TWO YEARS after I stopped taking lessons. I’ve changed my major five times, finally giving up because I’m too damn old and if I’m going to be in school for the rest of my life at least it won’t be undergrad.

Girl Scouts, horseback riding, piano, flute, horseback riding, 4H, that random homeschooling group, I’ve dropped all of them. Most for good reasons (no talent, what the hell kind of Kool-Aid are they drinking in 4H anyway?, I was the world’s worst homeschooler) some for bad (I don’t like socializing. Ever.).

Well, upstairs next to my flute is a leotard, because, once upon a time, I was a gymnast. I was pretty good, too- I made the team. I quit though, because the daily practice and twice weekly *choke* ballet classes were seriously cutting into the time I normally reserved for reading Nancy Drew books and, I don’t know, picking at my feet or something. What? I don’t remember what I was doing around age 10. Whatever.

I’m not terribly broken up about it. Probably for the best, as shortly after this I woke up one morning and needed a C-cup. And also? I really like my neck as it is- a different entity from my shoulders.

But watching these ridiculously talented and YOUNG! gymnasts bopping around like nobody’s business is almost as depressing as watching the figure skating. You know, when the prepubescent beauty spends fourteen hours a day skating and somehow has time to sing Christmas carols with old people and cure AIDS too!

*scoffs* It disgusts me.

If there is one thing I dislike, it’s watching people who are several years younger than me and in way better shape accomplish things. At least, I don’t like doing that without a glass of wine. Well. It’s a good thing that’s not happening tonight!!!


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