Jon and Kate Plus 8 is WAY more my style.

We’re watching the Democratic National Convention. Or rather, we’re watching three fake pundits on PBS talking about the Democratic National Convention. Because the real pundits on actual networks (except Comedy Central, which will be beginning it’s Daily Show coverage tomorrow night- and I am way too thrilled for a halfway intelligent student of international history and politics) don’t come on until nine, and other than Michelle Obama debuting her brand new White House Black Market find, not much is going on tonight.

Oh, I’m sorry. There’s also a tribute to Teddy Kennedy, who is still alive but apparently not letting that stop him getting his glory. I’m so glad I live in a nation that puts together glorified PowerPoint presentations of murderers to some ridiculous power ballad. (ETA: They’re using Orleans’ “Still the One”. Oh, *barf*.) This is really what the founding fathers had in mind. Well. Maybe Franklin. He was kind of a loose cannon.

Meh. I like politics, I really do. That’s why I was initially involved in international relations, because I loved the political arena but certainly didn’t want to run for office. (I did a three-paragraph reading at my grandfather’s funeral in the church I’ve spent my entire life in, in front of pretty much immediate family and Mary laughing behind my back, and I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE. Actually. That would have been dramatic, and at least I would have gone out in a pretty dress. Huh. Anyway, somehow I didn’t think public office would be the most amazing career choice.)

(OH MY GOD THEY ARE INTRODUCING CAROLINE KENNEDY WITH SWEET CAROLINE. I think I might throw up.)

(“Barack Obama makes them feel hopeful like they did when my father was President.” Oh, bite me, Caroline. The best thing that happened to your father’s political career was his death. Had he lived, we all would have been screaming, “Hey, hey, JFK, how many babies did you kill today?” That is, if he hadn’t already run the country into the ground because he SUCKED at domestic policy and we were actually damn lucky that the Russians started building nukes in Cuba because at least it distracted him from SCREWING US OVER at home. *ahem*)

(Okay, back to the real post.)

But while I’m interested in current politics, I’m really more of a historian. The part of politics that absolutely fascinates me is the way in which the political process is used to create (and destroy) countries and empires. This is part of the reason I’m an Article III groupie, because the privilege that the Court has is the ability to make history with every single decision, and they’re (at least on paper) free from the disenchanting, unpleasant side of politics.

So listening to hours of newbie Democratic senators crying over how alive Barack Obama makes them feel? Makes me want to drink. (Which I am! Because this month has sucked! And I hate the world!)

And I’m not remotely a Democrat. Occasionally, I try to convince myself that I am. I think, being young, that my entire society tells me that the only thing worse than not being a Democrat is killing African AIDS babies by beating them with the body of a kitten that you’ve gutted while your grandmother watched. But I’m really not.

I’m a Republican. I’m a rather independent, tolerant, middle-of-the-road Republican, but I am a Republican nonetheless. I don’t have a problem with gay unions, I’m against the death penalty, I am against any and all wars on principle, I think we need some health care reform, and I certainly don’t always agree with Bush. But I’m fiscally conservative, I think that less government (at least in the context of our political system) is better. And DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON ABORTION.

I’m also cynical enough to realize that private industry is good for the economy. Seriously. It is. Take a history class. Any history class.

(Side Note: The phone just rang and I looked at the clock to see if it was nine o’clock. Now I’m going to get another drink.)

So I’m voting for McCain in November, even though I don’t agree with him on everything. Now you know.

Although, only because they took Stephen Colbert off the list. Because I would become a Wiccan, Green Party member if that man told me to.

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