Peggy’s Sister’s House:
Fr. Colin Hanks: *is adorably awkward*
Peggy: *is less adorably awkward* You want something to eat?
Fr. Colin Hanks: No. I’m good. I’ve had lots of unsatisfied women feeding me today. In fact, your sister should be bringing in a doggy bag any minute. Hey, do you want to run the CYO dance?
Peggy: I’m not sure. I’m so comfortable with our weekly awkward, if I added any more I’m not sure I’d appreciate it. Also. You think I’m a whore.
Fr. Colin Hanks: True. Very true. But I’m clearly going to continue to have a quasi-inappropriate attachment to you all the while admonishing you silently for making a moral mistake, so why not just cut your losses? Plus, you have a color printer.
Peggy: I guess.
Meanwhile, at the Draper’s: Betty beats up a chair. This is in no way connected to her crumbling marriage.
CYO Dance Meeting:
Fr. Colin Hanks: Pegs, we got a problem. You cannot make lightly-veiled first-time references on church flyers.
Old Lady #1: Look how they’re dancing!
Old Lady#2: SCANDAL!!! Leave some room for the Holy Ghost .
Author’s Baby-of-the-Eighties Note: Teehee. Holy Ghost.
Peggy: I think the flyer is nice.
Fr. Colin Hanks: I changed my mind. I’m clearly going to agree with you. This is post-Vatican II, ladies. Let them grind. Btw, it’s CYO. Nobody going to come anyways.
Old Lady #1: *huffs*
Old Lady #2: *huffs*
Peggy: THANK YOU.
Fr. Colin Hanks: I still think you’re a whore. Even though you should be coming to Communion.
Peggy: Seriously. You need to stop talking to my sister.
Meanwhile at the Draper’s: Betty freaks out at a dinner party and then smells all of her husband’s suits. Yeah. I don’t know either.
At the office a few days later:
Fr. Colin Hanks: ZOMG thanks so much for the flyers, even if it was a hideously misguided attempt to spend more time with you.
Peggy: No problem. I’m just glad that I didn’t burn upon entering the church, what with being such a mortal sinner and all.
Fr. Colin Hanks: Yeah. I know. You wanna talk about it? God already knows. He sees everything.
Peggy: Really? Even when you were staring at my ass that one time?
Fr. Colin Hanks: I AM NOT THE SINNER HERE, SKANK.
Peggy: Did you talk to my sister again!?!?!? Seriously. I’m having her change her number.
Fr. Colin Hanks: Whatever. I’m just going to go play my guitar. This is post-Vatican II. We’re allowed to do that now.
*sigh* I love Colin Hanks. He’s so adorable. Our children would be so wealthy.
Why, yes, thank you, my priorities are in the right place.
I’m going now, because I have to get up for Mass. (Haha! I just realized the irony in that! Colin Hanks is not my priest, however. While disappointing, this is probably ultimately a good thing, as it could possibly lead to me spending all of eternity burning in hell. The sulfur? Not good for my hair. I’m pretty sure you don’t get to bring your flatiron with you in the afterlife.)