Things I don’t want to hear from members of the clergy.

Oh, yes, there is a list. You do not grow up in the environment I did and not have a list. My mom was a trustee, y’all. I was an alter server and the go-to girl for weddings for nine years. It’s a long list.

The list was added to tonight when the mission priest started talking about man boobs. I, of course, immediately began thinking of how to fit this into a blog post. Because he is one the few priests I’ve met that I’m not friends with on Facebook, so it wouldn’t be that weird.

He had a point, and a good one. And despite the fact that I am repressed, I laughed very hard inside. Very, very hard. So half of me wants all those who have been ordained to refrain from discussing any sort of bodily issues (this includes the flaming brassiere from Sunday) at all during liturgy or parish-sponsored events. And then half of me is still laughing.

Again, I was the wedding girl. I’ve heard EVERYTHING.

So this is chalked up on the list. Slightly lower than some memorable homilies on the Song of Songs, but definitely above that CFC class sophomore year of high school with the crazy awkward discussion of prison sex.

Like I said, it’s a very long list.

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