Very Important Scholarly Work.

Eamon de Valera: Michael? I need to talk to you for a minute.

Michael Collins: But my show is on!

Eamon de Valera: Michael. Now.

Michael Collins: Fine. What is it?

Eamon de Valera: I have a very big job for you. I’m going to be very busy for awhile, and I need you to go to London for me. You need to go to this address, and talk to these nice men, and you need to tell them to shove their Government of Ireland Act up their asses. Do you understand?

Michael Collins: I guess…

Eamon de Valera: Really? You go there. You listen. You come home. You absolutely do not sign anything. Do you understand me?

Michael Collins: Yep. No signing.

Eamon de Valera: What do you do if they give you a pen?

Michael Collins: No signing.

Eamon de Valera: What do you do if they tell you your pompadour is pretty?

Michael Collins: No signing.

Eamon de Valera: Okay. You can go. Take Arthur with you.


Winston Churchill: Michael! You look amazing! I love your hair!

Michael Collins: *blushes*

David Lloyd George: We need to talk about this whole Government of Ireland Act thing. You know, Britain has so many more…um…liquidated assets…and we will be able to help you with the…um…GNP…and the CDC…and the CSI…and we really just need you to sign this.

Michael Collins: That sounds like a good idea to me. Big words! I love big words! Do you have a pen?

Arthur Griffith: Um, Michael? Hey, Michael? Yeah, see, Eamon told us not to sign. He kind of scares me. Just a little bit.

Michael Collins: Oh, Arthur. Grow a pair. Give him a pen, too, boys.


Michael Collins: Eamon? We need to talk.

Eamon de Valera: I so should have just stayed in prison.


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