Whatever, I was five.

I am deeply fascinated by Meghan McCain. Infatuated, really. I want to be her friend. We can Twitter and be slightly overweight but altogether not hideously deformed together.

This is due, I feel, to a number of issues. I have always wanted to be a political daughter. It was my neverending dream as a child that my dad would ditch that whole architecture thing and run for prez in 1996- what, like he couldn’t beat Perot? My little sister and I would dress up and play “Chelsea Clinton” which was less a game and more fevered “OMG CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUN I’LL BET SHE HAD THE REAL BARBIE CAR, NOT THE GENERIC ONE, AND A KEN DOLL WITH BOTH LEGS!!!”

(What. I was easily distracted from her father’s seriously lacking policy issues.)

But that’s not all. I seriously need some youngish Republican friends (other than Katie- but hey! She could hang out with Meghan and me too!) . It’s a cold world out here when you have Bobby Jindal freaking out and being pissy in the corner while Obama is hanging out with the cool kids across the room and beckons you over, “Hey, you wanna join us? We’ve got beer. I mean technically, you bought the beer with your tax dollars, so you should totally have some!” And you have to reply, “Um…no…thanks. I’m just going to sit over here with my lemonade and try to keep Bobby from talking too loudly. But Meghan is young and not a fundamentalist and has gay friends and hey! I have gay friends too!

And yes, she said that she voted for Kerry in 2004, which is an almost unforgivable offense because SERIOUSLY? KERRY? But I can get over it, because I love her clothes and she uses eyliner which is, again, seriously lacking amongst Republicans.

She got into a fight with Ann Coulter about how bitch crazy she’s become. And I respect that something fierce.

Also I have always harbored a desire to be named Meghan. With an H. I don’t know why.

So while I have never compared leg hair with her, as my sister did in a dream that is chronicled in a remarkable Facebook note that I can’t link to because her profile is locked down like the Pentagon, but if you know her you should totally go read it, I think Meghan and I are basically soulmates.

And tonight? Tonight she’s on the Colbert Report. Yes. Now she has my name, my party affiliation, my penchant for empire-waisted dresses, and gets to be on my favorite show ever. It’s almost worth staying up until 10:30 for.


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