Spectacular Amounts of Stupid

I am paler than the moon. I have red hair and blue eyes and I frequently get red just be moving. (“Did you just get back from vacation?” “No, that’s…just my skin.”) Do you get the picture?If I sparkled a little I could be in the Twilight books. (I’d probably have to jack up the sexual repression like 1,000x.) I know from sunburn. I’ve gotten some terrible sunburns in my lifetime- one when I was so young that my parents called me “Lobster Baby”. When I was about twelve I got one so bad that my eyeballs were burned and I couldn’t really see for like a whole day. And a few years ago I spent the day on the lake without anything- yeah, that was pleasant. A week later when I could finally shower, at least . I know better than to go outside without sunscreen. I use SPF 70 almost every day and reapply when I go outside for a long period of time.

Unless. Unless it’s thunderstorming in the morning and then it stops and I go “Yay!” and bound outside to take a four-mile walk without realizing that a.) it’s 80 degrees outside and b.) UVA and UVB travel through clouds, dude.

Yeah. My chest looks really good right now.

Other act of stultifying stupidity? I was actually at Wal-Mart and did not, of course, purchase anything that would make this feel better because “Pssh. It’s not that bad!”

Four hours later I have an unbelievably pungent vinegar-soaked paper towel compress draped over my boobs. So now I smell really nice, too!

I’d better shower before I do anything tomorrow.


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