Last Year, on Mad Men…

Okay. OKAY. I got a little behind. I got into various incarnations of Law and Order, and Time Warner changed the channel that AMC is on, and whatever, don’t judge me okay? Just because I didn’t watch the last episode of the season doesn’t make me a bad fan. I got around to it. On a holiday weekend. Nine months later.

Military Base in Cuba:

Khruschev: *builds nuclear weapons*

Castro: *lets him*

Back Home:

Americans: *freak out*

Sterling-Cooper Employees: *drink heavily*

2008 Audience: *gets nostalgic*

***

Random Church:

Fr. Colin Hanks: We are all sinners. But we should all admit it. Even, some would say especially, that sweet-looking young lady in the back. Do you hear me, young lady I do not have a relationship with?

Peggy: Dude. I’m calling the archdiocese.

***

Draper Residence:

Betty: *is pregnant*

Betty: *is pissed*

Betty: *drinks a gimlet*

Baby Draper: *develops flippers*

***

Random Rectory:

Peggy: So…I brought muffins. For the nuclear war.

Fr. Colin Hanks: Aww, that’s great. They should come in handy.

Peggy: So how about this bomb thing, huh? Makes you feel like the world could end at any minute.

Fr. Colin Hanks: I know, but that’s really always the case.

Peggy: Makes you feel alive…

Fr. Colin Hanks. Yeah. Totally. You know, sometimes I feel like God called me to this parish. To reach you.

Peggy: Um…like, physically?

Fr. Colin Hanks: Hell is very real, Peggy! Unless you repent, you could be damned for all eternity.

Peggy: Wow. I thought you were going somewhere else entirely with that.

Fr. Colin Hanks: I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. Are you going to confess?

Peggy: Are you still going to stare at my ass?

Fr. Colin Hanks: DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M PROSELYTIZING.

Peggy: I should have just sent my sister with the nuclear holocaust muffins.

***

Sterling-Cooper Offices:

Sterling-Cooper: *is sold to Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny*

Don: *gets rich*

Morena: OH MY GOD MR. SHEFFIELD!!! YOU GOT OLD!!!

***

Later that day, Sterling-Cooper Offices:

Sleazy Campbell: Wanna ride out the nuclear winter with me?

Peggy: Meh. Might as well. We’re all going to die anyway.

Sleazy Campbell: Why don’t we every talk anymore?

Peggy: Easy there. The last time we talked, I had to fake a complicated relationship with food for nine months and now my mom and my priest think I’m going to hell.

Sleazy Campbell: I’m confused.

Peggy: Yeah. Tell me about it.

Sleazy Campbell: …

Peggy: *waxes nostalgic about pregnancy for awhile*

Sleazy Campbell and Rest of Audience: *tunes out*

***

Draper Residence, President Kennedy just told everybody everything is going to be just peachy.

Don: *sits in silence*

Betty: *sits in silence*

Don and Betty: *hold hands significantly*

Fin.

I miss this show. So. Much.

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