Dear Phantom*,

Hi! I’d just like you to know that since that whole thing with Christine didn’t work out, I’m totally available to take your calls. I mean, completely. I wouldn’t stomp on your heart or anything. I’d be totally into all the dungeon sex and the dioramas of my life and even the weird Dress Up Barbie doll you’ve created of me. All good things.

So…yeah. Not all of us are stupid whores who are probably secretly lesbians because why else would you leave with that pansy Raoul? Huh?

Just thought you should know.


2004 Movie Version Phantom Need Only Apply

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