We’re okay now.

I wask kind of mad at my thesis advisor because he has, like, NO information about what I need to do or when I need to have it completed by or whether I need to go to an entirely different university to find someone to read it. But I met with him today and he signed the form and actually made eye contact with me (last time he didn’t- the entire time. It was quite strange.) and he has my calendar. So that’s pretty cool.

Other than that, I’m tired. And really sick of reading about Wisconsin history.

I still love you, Taylor Swift.

Even if you don’t know how Romeo and Juliet ends.

I didn’t even see the whole Kanye thing, but after every single update on my homepage was about this, I had to google. Poor form, Kanye. Poor form.

Soo…birthday weekend over. I had a lovely time, did lots of fun things, and ate way too much. Um…if you want cake? We’ve got some?

Ooh, and I fixed my iPhone. Or, rather, the Genius Whose Name I’m Forgetting fixed it and it’s worked almost perfectly for an entire day which is WAY better than average. And he even replaced the screen that shattered for NO REASON while it was SITTING IN MY BAG overnight and didn’t even charge me for it even though it totally wasn’t covered by warranty even though it should have been because SERIOUSLY NO REASON.

Now it’s doing this weird thing where it skips? Like a CD? But not a whole lot, and whatever, I’m ignoring it for now.


Discussing viewing options…

Colleen: Well, it’s your birthday, so I guess we can watch whatever. *huge dramatic sigh*

Me: What do you want to watch?

Colleen: I don’t know…something light and funny and British…

Me: Doctor Who!

Colleen: Meh. It’s all sci-fi, but whatever blows your skirt up.

Me: David Tennant can blow my skirt up.

Mom: I’m recording this.

Me: Oh. Good.

Just FYI, my little brother figured out how to say “sadomasochism” in Spanish, which will undoubtedly be helpful in any number of situations he may one day find himself in. And who says the public education system in the country is broken?

A Good Jew.

I’ll admit I’m biased. I’m Catholic. I’ve always been Catholic. I will always be Catholic. But I’ve spent a lot of time studying the Jewish faith. And I have one overwhelming thought.


Honestly. There are no weird rules. There aren’t really any competing traditions. We have vowels.

All good things.

The “don’t boil a calf in his mother’s milk” vs. rabbinical traditions and the whole TNK thing?

Not so much.

Meanwhile, I declared a Jewish Studies major today. This is very exciting.

Good times.

I kind of love this semester. Tuesday and Thursday are long but full of fantastic classes full of awesome, and Monday and Wednesdays are ONE CLASS. And ART HISTORY CLASS. So I get to sleep in, spend most of the day at home, find free parking, and look at pictures of pretty churches for 75 minutes before returning home, usually before 4:30.

Now. If I could just figure out this whole thesis thing. My advisor is no help at all- he’s not entirely sure whether I’m an undergraduate or grad student half the time. I think there’s a form? I have to fill out? I don’t know. Tomorrow I’m (hopefully) switching my second major, so keep your fingers crossed for that. I’m really worried she’s going to tell me, “No, we don’t want your little shiksa butt. Please leave now.”

That’s ridiculous. But sometimes I am too.

Excuse me, your Catholicism is showing.

Today I had the first lecture in my Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad class. All of last week’s time was devoted to an incredibly protracted disclaimer about how this was a HISTORY class in which we would only discuss HISTORICAL FACTS and there would NO BIAS and HISTORY HISTORY HISTORY.

Only to have the professor turn around and begin using incredibly Christian rhetoric unconsciously throughout the whole class. He said “ascended into heaven” like six times in reference to the Egyptian polytheistic beliefs. The Egyptians didn’t call their afterlife “heaven”. Ever. Meanwhile, I’m finishing the Nicene Creed in my head.

I mean, I don’t mind, because your cultural filters are my cultural filters, baby, but still. Not unbiased.

In other religion-related news, the Over-Eager Protestants were back handing out little New Testaments on campus today. EVERYWHERE. Like, on ever corner. Which meant I got to politely decline the Word of God eighteen different times and WHATEVER STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M A BAD PERSON I ALREADY HAVE A NEW TESTAMENT, SIR. Incidentally, in another class the professor said he was getting kind of sick of having to go, “No, thank you, I already have one,” every five minutes. Katie just looked at me and laughed.

I have major problems with these people. Because I applaud their fortitude. I certainly wouldn’t do what they do, but it’s just awkward. And I feel like I should take it because it is the Bible, even if it’s the Weird Protestant Version, but then I’m left in the awkward position of having half a Bible lying around that I can’t get rid of because it’s the Bible but I don’t really need it because it’s not the whole Bible and I ALREADY HAVE SEVERAL I SWEAR I’M A GOOD PERSON.

In non-religion-related news, the iPod part of my iPhone has stopped working. It doesn’t like playing a song for longer than three seconds, and it occasionally likes to select a song and start playing it at random like, when I’m in class, making it imperative that I keep the sound off. This sucks. What’s worse is that until close of the store today I could have walked in and gotten an entirely new phone, no questions asked, because I bought it exactly 30 days ago. I called and discovered this as 8:56 PM. They closed at 9:00 PM.

Maybe I should have taken the Over-Eager Protestant’s New Testament.

Does starting an online episode of Mad Men count as labor?

I think not. Party in a few hours. It’s been a good holiday.

Anyway, I was leaving Mass this morning when somebody said, “Kathleen!” I stopped, because this actually happens a lot. It’s usually someone I don’t actually know who goes on to say, “Oh! You’re John’s granddaughter! We miss him so much!” And I have to smile and go, “Yes. Thanks, yeah, we do too. Now, do you know how to paint a ceiling?”

But this time it was some guy who looked vaguely familiar. He shook my hand and said, “Do you know anything about Jewish history in Milwaukee?”

Turns out he’s one of the auditors in my Jewish Wisconsin class. Which made me feel kind of badly because I spent like an hour yesterday ranting about how if there is seating chart for that class the auditors are just going to mess it up and my God, man, there are only like three real students in the class and I know you can’t tell my sister and me apart but whatever, neither can our parents some days and THIS IS JUST NOT A GOOD IDEA THE OLD PEOPLE THEY WILL SCREW WITH IT.

I’m sure this guy is smart enough to not mess with the seating chart.

He did ask if I had taken any of his other courses, and I had to think of a better response than, “Um. Yeah. All of them.”

It’s true. But it tends to creep people out.

We’re at that place.

I helped my mom clean out her closet this afternoon and we came across her wedding gown. I realized that unlike every other daughter in the world, I’ve never tried it on. Clearly, this had to be remedied.

Also I was a little bit tired of sorting sweatshirts. My mother has a lot of sweatshirts.

I was pretty sure it wouldn’t go on, because my mom weighed about as much as an African AIDS baby when she got married. It did go on, and it closed past my waist, and then stopped at my chest. I guess she wasn’t a 34 D. Whatever.

She also suggested that my black bra made me look “less than virginal”. Thanks, Mom.

I so need to marry wealthy.

Recently somebody asked me what I want to be when I grow up. I laughed and replied that I needed to marry into wealth. I was kidding. Sort of.

Today we picked up Grandpa’s mail and discovered a Brooks Brothers catalogue that ostensibly should have gone to Renter Sent From God.

(We could tell this by the fact that HE HAS A CUSTOMER NUMBER. AT BROOKS BROTHERS. Did I mention how much I hate him?)

I have spent the better part of the evening paging through it and drinking. Not a good combination. I have fallen in love with each and every male model, and a good number of the female ones. What? They’re statuesque and very handsome.

On one page, a gentleman wears a bow tie. Without a hint of irony.

On another, a silk scarf is for sale- only $298.

My mom asked my dad how his cashmere sweaters were holding up- they were running a special, only $300 for three.

I am not feeling so good about my choice to pursue graduate degrees in history and theology. I can’t even envision a scenario in which either of those things ends up with me spending $200 on a twinset. Maybe in National Treasure. Maybe. But even they gave the treasure away, and poor Diane Kruger had to go back to paying off her student loans.

Hmmm. Maybe I should call customer service and see if they have Renter’s credit card on file. The evening could have just gotten better!

Genocide is easy.

I love this one professor. I stalk him. He gives me As, I sign up for all of his woefully underfunded classes. It’s a twisted relationship, but it works. However, after hearing three of his introductory lectures today, my goodnes, I could write that damn syllabus.

I did find out that I don’t have to find anyone else to read my thesis, and there is no defense. Oh. Thank. God. That just relieved like 97% of the stress of this year.

Now I can just relax and focus on…the Holocaust?