Today I had the first lecture in my Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad class. All of last week’s time was devoted to an incredibly protracted disclaimer about how this was a HISTORY class in which we would only discuss HISTORICAL FACTS and there would NO BIAS and HISTORY HISTORY HISTORY.
Only to have the professor turn around and begin using incredibly Christian rhetoric unconsciously throughout the whole class. He said “ascended into heaven” like six times in reference to the Egyptian polytheistic beliefs. The Egyptians didn’t call their afterlife “heaven”. Ever. Meanwhile, I’m finishing the Nicene Creed in my head.
I mean, I don’t mind, because your cultural filters are my cultural filters, baby, but still. Not unbiased.
In other religion-related news, the Over-Eager Protestants were back handing out little New Testaments on campus today. EVERYWHERE. Like, on ever corner. Which meant I got to politely decline the Word of God eighteen different times and WHATEVER STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M A BAD PERSON I ALREADY HAVE A NEW TESTAMENT, SIR. Incidentally, in another class the professor said he was getting kind of sick of having to go, “No, thank you, I already have one,” every five minutes. Katie just looked at me and laughed.
I have major problems with these people. Because I applaud their fortitude. I certainly wouldn’t do what they do, but it’s just awkward. And I feel like I should take it because it is the Bible, even if it’s the Weird Protestant Version, but then I’m left in the awkward position of having half a Bible lying around that I can’t get rid of because it’s the Bible but I don’t really need it because it’s not the whole Bible and I ALREADY HAVE SEVERAL I SWEAR I’M A GOOD PERSON.
In non-religion-related news, the iPod part of my iPhone has stopped working. It doesn’t like playing a song for longer than three seconds, and it occasionally likes to select a song and start playing it at random like, when I’m in class, making it imperative that I keep the sound off. This sucks. What’s worse is that until close of the store today I could have walked in and gotten an entirely new phone, no questions asked, because I bought it exactly 30 days ago. I called and discovered this as 8:56 PM. They closed at 9:00 PM.
Maybe I should have taken the Over-Eager Protestant’s New Testament.