We’re at that place.

I helped my mom clean out her closet this afternoon and we came across her wedding gown. I realized that unlike every other daughter in the world, I’ve never tried it on. Clearly, this had to be remedied.

Also I was a little bit tired of sorting sweatshirts. My mother has a lot of sweatshirts.

I was pretty sure it wouldn’t go on, because my mom weighed about as much as an African AIDS baby when she got married. It did go on, and it closed past my waist, and then stopped at my chest. I guess she wasn’t a 34 D. Whatever.

She also suggested that my black bra made me look “less than virginal”. Thanks, Mom.

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