I do so love academic ceremonies.

Sooo…I really want to join Phi Alpha Theta, the history honor society. Because I fricking love being invited to honor societies and look, okay, I know that it’s hardly a real honor society because you only need a 3.1 GPA, but whatever, I want in. Except they want $40. Which I don’t technically have to spend right now. And it’s less impressive to have to ask your mommy for money to join an honor society.

I probably will still do this. I have no pride.

Also I desperately need something to recommend me. I need to write my statement of purpose in the next few weeks (or rather, like three different versions of it, depending on the school and whether I’m applying for a history or theology program) and I just realized that yes, I have a 3.9 GPA and a fantastic academic record, but because I have spent the last three years of my life maintaining that 3.9? I don’t have a whole lot else going on to put on a resume.

I don’t know how impressed the history department at Northwestern will be when the most I can give them to work with is “can watch a staggering number of Law and Order: Criminal Intent episodes in a row and knows all the lines to the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.” Not totally sure they’ll give you a Ph.D for that.

Maybe. I mean, I guess I don’t know.

So this would look good, and they’re also looking for volunteers to help organize the induction ceremony, which, dude, sign me up. An academic ceremony? I am there. I don’t care if I have a reason to be there, I am.

I think it’s the latent distress over never ever having a graduation.

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