Dear Professsor, (CC Jesus)

Hey. It’s Kathleen. About last night.

First of all, Jesus, I’ve got to say, You came through. I was remembered almost everything and hey, maybe Katie and my sister were the only ones who remembered Henry Ford. I had bathtubs and street addresses and all sorts of other random crap and I didn’t call Kaiser Wilhelm II a product of incest and “stubby-armed” like my sister but I did say that I liked the author’s analysis of the annunciation (“But I haven’t even had sex yet!) so I guess maybe those cancel each other out. Anyway. So, thanks. I really appreciate it.

However, Unnamed Professor. We need to have a talk. You need to learn how to write an exam. For instance, the topic, “Discuss the life and times of Jesus of Nazareth from his birth through his death. Discuss the four gospels and who they were written for as well as they how they differ. Finish with a description of the textbook and what his excerpt on Paul means.” IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR AN ESSAY WHICH WE HAVE TO COMPLETE IN HALF AN HOUR.

Now, I get that you’re not a theologian. But do you have any idea how many millions of pages have been devoted to each of those things? And you want us to, what, like skip stuff? What do you skip? I mean, that last week was pretty important. I’ve read A Marginal Jew. I’ve read Death of a Messiah. I know TONS about that stuff, and I want to write it all down but I can’t if you give me ridiculously huge topics like that.

The class period was over at 12:15. At 12:09 I hadn’t even killed Jesus yet and still had all that stuff to get through. My essay? Was basically the Nicene Creed. Because I couldn’t think of any more concise way to put it than “He was crucified under Pilate, suffered, died, and was buried.”

So. I still love you. Because you give me 105s regularly. But THIS IS NOT COOL SIR.

Love,
Kathleen

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