Television: *has a commercial that uses the word “tchotke”*
Mom: Ugh. The tchotkes.
Me: NO THEY ARE EVIL.
Mom: I think we’re getting better though. We really got burned by tchotkes.
Dad: What? Did we have a tchotke problem?
Me: OH MY GOD GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
A problem? A problem? I’m not sure I’d call it a problem. A giant sucking hole of evil that required painting and “Human” by the Killers came up on my iPhone yesterday and I swear to God I felt a little bit nauseous because I listened to that a lot while painting shelves and I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING INTERNETS.
THAT’S what I’d call it.
The man. Is oblivious.