Things that are bugging me today.

1.) My disturbing Pavlovian response to the words “Israel” and “Zion” that is due entirely to my Arab-Israeli Conflict final that I have to take in about three hours.

(I maintain the class is misnamed- it should be the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict. The Arab states never really loved the Palestinians anyway and after 1967 they dumped them completely. So it’s hardly fair that they end up in the title of the conflict.)

Every time I hear those words, I’m like, “Ooh, I know about that! I know how much aid they received from the US in 1967 as opposed to 1968 ($12 million and $77 million, btw).” And opinions- do I have opinions. But you’re not going to hear them. Because I’m too white and Christian to spout off my beliefs without looking like an anti-semite. Which I’m not. But I’m pretty sure it may come off that way in print.

And let me tell you, Advent is a bad time to be obsessed with Israel. Because it’s in, like, every song and reading. During the homily last weekend I made myself space out because I was getting tired of reciting details in my head.

So. I’m really hoping that the test goes well. I was driving my brother to school this morning and he asked which exam I had today. I replied, “Arab/Israeli conflict. *pause* But I don’t think I’ll be able to solve it.” He smiled and said, “You’d definitely get an A.”

Personally, I think if I’m able to bring about a lasting peace in Gaza and the West Bank, I deserve extra credit.

2.) Northwestern University and Marquette University, and their seriously lazy graduate application departments.

Okay. I’ll give Marquette a free pass for this one. Not only do I really want to go there, but the deadline hasn’t even arrived yet. So. You guys are okay. For another week or two.

But Northwestern? Your deadline was, like, two whole weeks ago. And you don’t even send out letters to the losers you don’t admit. WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG? Would it kill you to put a little “Denied” button on my application page so I can go back to banging my head into the wall and drinking heavily? I THINK NOT.

Shut up. I’m not crazy.

3.) I don’t really have a three. Except that I think only two items looks lazy. Hmmm. I’m sure there’s something. Oh- got it. My professor won’t e-mail me back and tell me if he’s finished grading my paper yet. Because I worked really, really hard on it and I really, really want it back so I can enjoy all the glowing comments during the winter break, after Northwestern rejects me.

I’m not being conceited. Even if it was a crappy paper, I’d get glowing comments. That’s just the nature of our relationship. I sign up for all of his hideously underfunded classes about Jews in 1970s Ohio or other ridiculous bordering-on-hilarious classes, and he spews loveliness that affirms my self-worth all over my work. I love him.

Okay. I think that’s all.

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