I don’t really care about decking, but if you could vacuum the hall that would be great.

I’m finished with the semester. I’ve e-mailed my thesis advisor with this brilliant-yes-please-let-me-into-grad-school note- “I hope you had a wonderful time in Poland. I’m taking finals and Christmas week off. I’ll send you a draft sometime after that. Merry Christmas! Love, your loser student.” (I’m kidding about that last part. I don’t write “love” to my professors. Most of them.) I baked cookies on Monday after my finals disappeared into thin air. I don’t even have to make the Happy Birthday Baby Jesus cake.

(Which I still maintain is a three-year-old tradition at best. We NEVER had one when I was little. NEVER. If my mom is so in love with her photo scanner, why can’t she find any pictures of this alleged OMG WE HAD IT EVERY YEAR cake? Because it doesn’t exist. Hah. That’s what I thought.)

I have nothing do do until Christmas except clean the house, wrap gifts, deal with my unruly eyebrows (I’m a frickin’ redhead, how is it that my eyebrows are so terrible?), make a single pumpkin pie because honestly? WE DO NOT NEED TWO, oh, and try to get through the reading from Isaiah for Friday morning. At least I think it’s Isaiah. Nine o’clock Mass is the day reading, right? Don’t you think? I mean, it’s hardly dawn. And they’re both Isaiah. Whatever. No one pays attention anyway. They’re all dealing with their toddlers who have never been inside a church before.

Um. Actually. That’s a lot.

But my point was that I don’t have any real responsibilities, and yet I’m still procrastinating on ALL OF THIS. Because I have coffee? And Lifetime? Did you know they show crappy programming ALL DAY LONG? I know, right?

Way more fun than cleaning the shower that people will just insist on using again despite my protestations that I don’t care if you’re dirty, I don’t have to scrub you down with Comet just stay out of the damn shower!

Ooh! Two completely random things before I get back to the Falalala Lifetime movie marathon where there’s lots of infidelity and redemption and angsty yet wholesome holiday sex between two vaguely-familiar-looking-but-they-certainly-aren’t-famous actors.

I logged on to my UWM e-mail account this morning. It’s connected to the calendar now, for reasons that elude me. But a notification popped up telling me that I had an event. Winter Break. Yes. The university had taken the time to add Winter Break as an event, even equipped with an alarm. So if I wanted to hit snooze on my vacation, I totally could.

Also, I’ve stopped obsessively checking my application at Northwestern. Because I’m completely convinced now that they’ll reject me on Christmas Eve and the notification will go something like, “We regret to inform you that you are too stupid to attend Northwestern University. Please have a lovely holiday and maybe Jesus still loves you because God knows we don’t.”

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One thought on “I don’t really care about decking, but if you could vacuum the hall that would be great.

  1. Uncle John is picking up the Baby Jesus birthday cake as we speak….I have ordered a very large cake so it will be for the Christmas Eve party and Christmas day. Yes this tradition is very old…….much older than 3 years 🙂

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