You mean you didn’t spend three hours watching Mass on television today?

(I apologize in advance if you’re a.) not Catholic, b.) not in Milwaukee, or c.) possessing of actual things to fill up your day. Feel free to stop reading and have a lovely day.)

So, I’m 22. I’m on winter break. So how do I spend the vast majority of a day of my vacation?

Watching coverage of Archbishop Listecki’s installation Mass. Obviously.

Oh, internets. It was awesome.

First of all, I like him. I really, really do. He’s folksy enough to be endearing and kind of has an adorable little look on his face when he talks. But he’s also smart enough that the snob in me is placated as well. And he mentioned Dancing with the Stars in his closing remarks. While most nights I’d rather open a vein than actually watch Dancing with the Stars, I respect a man who can bring up an ABC reality show during Mass.

Second, former Archbishop Weakland totally gave Listecki the stink eye during the “and let’s all give *blank* a hand…” part. And, oh, it made my day. I mean first of all, why was he there? I don’t mean why was he invited, because I get that. He was our archbishop for a long time. And no one nothing he did can erase that. And I swear, I am not even beginning to comment on the actual scandal because it’s none of my business (Well, except for that preceding sentence. That’s mostly just because I’m incapable of not being sarcastic.). You can break whatever vows you like, my only problem comes when you use archdiocesan funds to cover it up. Then it becomes my business.

But why would you actually show up? I mean, how awkward. Not only was it this huge part of your life that is over and that’s just kind of depressing but also, you left under close to the most embarrassing circumstances. Ever. Why the hell would you come back to this?

Because you run the risk of the incredibly awkward moment when Listecki thanked Weakland for being there in three words and then spent ten minutes drooling over Dolan and might as well have finished with, “And thanks for cleaning up the mess that that one over there left us with,” and Weakland just glares at him? Yeah. Crazy good awkward.

Third, did I mention that I really love incense? Like, a lot?

Also virtually saw several people I know, which was pretty cool. One was pretty cool because I haven’t actually seen him in about eighteen months and the other was pretty cool because hey! I saw him this morning! And now he’s with the archbishop! Wow. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. If it had been a drinking game, I would have had alcohol poisoning by the second reading.

Finally, they played my absolute favorite song ever during the communion procession.

So. That was fun.

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