Clearly, academia was the correct choice.

My junior year in college, I reached a crossroads. Throughout high school and the first few years of college, I had planned on going to law school.

(Well, I took a few months off to be a diplomat.)

But by junior year I was really into the history thing, and having serious doubts about my ability to be happy actually being a lawyer.

This led to near-constant breakdowns, and my mom, the attorney, got really, really sick of saying, “Honey. I did this. I know you. I taught you. You WILL NOT BE HAPPY DOING THIS.” over and over and over again.

(In her defense, she never really let it show. My daughter pulls any crap like this? I’ll be the first to scream, “YOU DON’T LIKE WORKING LATE YOU IGNORANT SLUT!” while throwing pillows at her head.)

Anyway. I ultimately decided that graduate school was the way to go. And I think it was a good choice. Because lawyers…work…during the summer. And I prefer…to not work during the summer.

For instance, here is a list of things I have accomplished today.

1.) Woke up. At 9:05.

2.) Knocked a spiderweb off my car with a stick (That I had to search for five minutes to find. How do I live in the country but there are no damn sticks around?) and then yelled at the spider because he was operating under the illusion that my car was his home and IT CERTAINLY WAS NOT.

3.) Drove to Starbucks because it’s totally close and thus makes lots of sense from a fuel economy perspective!

4.) Spent $4.38 on a latte.

5.) Grasped the irony of that situation.

6.) Started to cry when I realized the Center for Jewish Studies is getting a new director but it doesn’t matter because I’M NOT THERE ANYMORE WAHHH.

7.) Stopped crying when I realized how ridiculous that was.

8.) Sniffled a little.

9.) Googled “trifle recipes with alcohol.” Because I want to make a trifle this weekend and I have come to the disturbing conclusion that there are people out there making trifle with healthy stuff like the natural juices from fruit (!!!) and not brandy which, I’m sorry. Did we just become an anarchical society?

11.) Arranged my errands so I could go back and get more Starbucks this afternoon with my treat receipt. Because $2 is less than no dollars, right? If my receipt says so?

There were some things I did not do today, such as-

1.) Wake up at an appropriate hour.

2.) Work out. I was going to. Totally. But then Colleen came downstairs and, well, that jaunt to Starbucks just made so much financial sense I was helpless to refuse.

3.) Accomplished anything worthwhile.

So. While I know that I would really enjoy the law school part of being a lawyer, and I know I would be able to afford lattes all the time, I’m thinking I made the right choice.


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