And by “liveblogging” I mean “sentences I scribbled in my notebook because it’s really rude to constantly update your Facebook status in a 15-person class. And since I don’t understand 98% of the sentences that come out of ANYONE’S mouth in that class, I need all the “She looks vaguely interested and halfway intelligent” points I can get. Texting? Shoots those to hell.
SO! This would have been legitimate if the iPhone had an app that allowed my brain to send messages to my Facebook. I’m sure it’s coming. iPhone 5G maybe?
7:01- Oh. My. Lord. This room is suffocating. It’s like it’s built over a portal to hell.
7:02- Seriously. It’s like spring break. But with fewer bikinis and more intellectual thought. Probably as much booze, though.
7:03- Mmm. I would literally kill my own mother for some bourbon during this class.
7:04- That would probably make me go to sleep, though.
7:04:30- Yeah. That’s the point.
7:30- *stares out window*
7:45- Blah blah cultural elite blah blah Irving Babbitt blah…*snore*
7:47- HAHAHA! A girl just used Frasier Crane as a reference for some random point. I want to be her friend.
8:20- Eighty minutes to go. I can do this. I can totally do this. I…*headdesk*
8:45- Is it possible to neuter the obnoxious liberal? I would hate for some poor slut to make a bad, alcohol-fueled life choice that was probably motivated by the need to MAKE HIM SHUT THE FRICK UP and end up with his devil spawn.
8:46- We probably don’t have funding for that.
9:01- 18-minute discussion on the “higher self” according to Babbitt. Yeah. My higher self? WOULD LIKE TO BE SNUGGLY IN BED RIGHT NOW.
9:10- And…now it’s become a two-person discussion between the professor and the obnoxious liberal. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
9:11- Come on, guys. I put on mascara for this. And real shoes. YOU’RE WELCOME, CAMPUS.
9:12- I. Am. Not. Kidding. Shut. The. Hell. Up.
9:15- That’s it. I’m voting for Obama in 2012. This is SO NOT WORTH IT.
9:16- Ooh, the professor voted for Reagan. And Goldwater. Well. No one can be perfect.
9:25- Honestly. Being raped on my way to my car is looking so much better than staying here right now.