Cute but Stupid: Part 2

I have a theory that the glory of Netflix allows for your baser self to be totally happy at all times. And have control of the remote. Wait. That sounds like porn. I’m not into porn, I swear. But I do order a ton of really stupid movies. And really enjoy them, because I don’t care what you say, Katherine Heigl is America’s sweetheart.

For instance, if I feel that a particular actor is particularly talented, I may request his entire filmography no matter how awful the movies may be.

This is how I ended up with the 2010 Annette Bening film Mother and Child. Because Jimmy Smits had about fifteen minutes of screen time in it.

SHUT UP. He’s a very attractive sixty-year-old.

ANYWAY.

Last night I was reading an uncharicteristically intelligent magazine and came across a very favorable review of the film.

It’s worth noting that I received the magazine as a gift from someone who probably (hopefully?) doesn’t know the following things about me: the only magazine I subscribe to is InStyle; I’ve worn shoes so ridiculous that I’ve actually FALLEN OFF OF THEM; and I had to title this post “Cute but Stupid: Part 2” because I’ve already titled a post “Cute but Stupid” about CURLING MY HAIR.

Yup. I’m able to act like an adult for hours at a time.

Anyway, this clearly very intelligent reviewer frickin’ loved this movie. It was brilliant! And visionary! And had very serious and significant things to say about faith and life and femininity and motherhood and women everywhere should watch this film!

Uh. Okay.

I guess it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise to anyone that I didn’t particularly enjoy this movie. In fact, I’m gonna be totally honest with y’all. I hated this movie. Like, hated. It was long. And boring. And depressing. And Annette Bening bugs the hell out of me. And Jimmy Smits only had like fifteen minutes on screen. AND SERIOUSLY SO BORING.

I’m not exactly sure what it had to say about femininity and God and motherhood and the “new Eves” but I do know that it was like eight hours long and there was no sufficient Jimmy Smits make-out scene.

(Funny. First Things didn’t talk about that.)

It also should come as no huge surprise that the current disc I have out from Netflix is  the Katherine Heigl flick Life as We Know It.

I’m pretty sure First Things will not review it. Which is a shame, because it’s awesome so far.

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