There needs to be a reverse “Jews for Jesus.”

I’m Catholic. Really Catholic. Catholic Catholic Catholic.

I prefer┬áHoly Thursday to Easter because there’s more Latin.

(And not just this year. Although this year was pretty epically fantastic. Here. Have some Eucharist. And also some pretty major life changes how do you feel about diapers? I mean just in general.)

My Facebook profile says “Roman Catholic” because I don’t want anyone getting confused and thinking I’m some weird Eastern rite.

(Totally likely, right?)

I’m Irish, Polish, and Bavarian.

(Baby, I was born this way.)

I sometimes genuflect coming out of movie theaters.

In conclusion- Catholic.

So. It’s a little bit surprising that when you Google me,* the first real entry (below all the “Add MyFavoriteLifeBookLinks and see who’s searching for you!” stuff) is my alumni profile for a Jewish Studies organization.

And that makes me happier than I have been in MONTHS, I think.

I’m not linking, because then you would have my name, picture, where I live, and access to my surprising proclivity for adjective use EVERYWHERE, and that’s mildly terrifying. But if you actually know me, check it out!

I’m not going to lie, I got a little verklempt.

*Which I am wont to do in between staring intently at my pores and contemplating my split ends. (Summer unemployment= drastic increase in narcissistic self-awareness.)

Things I should do before meeting with my thesis director this morning:

1.) Shower.


I mean, my perfume smells okay, right?

2.) Take off last night’s eye makeup.

Bare Minerals- making laziness good for your skin since 1995.

3.) Think about taking off punky nail polish and then realize I have a fairly sedate Essie color and anything that costs $8 a bottle (more than I spend on wine) is totally office appropriate.

4.) Find something other than a “Copper Mountain” t-shirt to wear.

5.) Do some primary source research.

6.) Do some secondary source research.

7.) Admit that it’s actually August and I should probably do something, like, now.

8.) Have slight breakdown over thesis and magnitude of research and writing and question life goals and life in general and the existence of God.

9.) Google open management positions at McDonald’s.

I have a BA. It’s in Jewish studies, but it’s still a degree. I could be a shift manager, right?

10.) Figure that 8:15 is not too early to start drinking as long as it’s the good boxed stuff.