Hyperbole much?

Yesterday I had a few hours of orientation. Exactly the same few hours of orientation I had last year, that were marginaly (marginally) helpful as a new TA and…a waste of a perfectly good pencil skirt as a returning TA.

Well, okay, that’s not true. I saw some people and there was free coffee and food and used it as an excuse to stop at H&M and buy this adorable $17 dress that is so frickin cute belted and will look adorable over leggings or even my skanky boots when I don’t have to worry about standing in front of 100 horny little freshmen.

(This is not narcissistic. I am not cute enough to turn 100 people on. Unless they’re bored 18-year-old boys.)

So that wasn’t a total waste.

But it was still worthless. The only thing that was different from this year (aside from the fact that I know enough to call them on their bs) was that most of it was devoted to an incredibly wide-ranging discussion of how Scott Walker has screwed each and every one of us individually and we should all be aware of the specific role we play within this “particular historical moment”* and cling to what is left of our union.

That’s great. It’s awesome. I tend to not agree, but you believe whatever blows your skirt up. Go unions! Whatever. Just don’t bother me about it.

No, my problem came during the speech about our union (what’s left of it now that people like me aren’t forced to belong) when the phrase, “as we watch everything we love just disappear” was uttered.

Uh.

Really.

Huh.

So let me get this straight. Because Scott Walker was elected and the union I never had an interest in joining isn’t able to negotiate contracts (that weren’t that great to start with), my parents are going to die. My brother and sister will move away and never see me again. The man and little girl that I’ve come to love more than life itself will disappear. The Eucharist won’t be the real presence of Christ anymore. Netflix will stop streaming Mad Men. Kohl’s will stop offering Kohl’s cash.

Really, guys?

Because I know that people are struggling. And I know that (somehow) other TAs are trying to support families on the laughable pittance that we get paid (even with the contract).

But trust me, everything in life that you love will still be there when you have to pay $30 more for health insurance.

Unless your wife is a horrible person and is only with your for your money. Then, yeah, she’s probably gone.

*Now my least favorite phrase. Ever.