In lieu of sanity, or a post of any consequence, here are five things I’ve learned this week.
1.) “Kathleen” sounds like “Nelly” to an obnoxious hipster barista. Apparently. I’ve gotten “Kathy,” “Katherine,” “Katie,” and once “Anastacia Beaverhousen” (okay that one was on purpose.) But never a “Nelly.”
2.) I should not be allowed to make my own drinks. Buzz usually is totally responsible for any and all bartending chores around our house. I can get wine for myself and maybe a gin and tonic. But other than that, I really just can’t be bothered.
But when we were in Williamsburg, I had this amazing rum drink. Buzz cannot handle rum. (He went to the University of Wisconsin.) (He can’t handle a lot of alcohol anymore.) So I decided to be a good wife and figure out how to make it myself.
But…um…apparently one part does not equal one souvenir shotglass. If you do that you the room will be spinning and you’ll be texting incomplete sentences to your sister about your husband’s childhood crushes.
3.) My husband went to school with my grade-school librarian’s daughter.
(This is, I promise, unrelated to the above lesson.)
4.) Ancestry.com is suuuper addicting. I just joined and DUUUUDE. I am all about those leaves.
I’m back to like 1799 on one side (because my mom has done all the work) and now I want to have like EIGHTEEN MORE BABIES and name them all after my ancestors.
But then I remember what living hell it was to be pregnant and think, eh, my sister can have little Ignaz and Katharina. I’ll be over here with my waaaay too strong rum drink and children that sleep through the night.
5.) My family tree is less of a family tree and more of a family bush and super confusing and riddled with suggestions like, “Do you want to add this picture of your husband’s wife?” which Gigimama and I laughed ridiculously hard about because it’s so absurd. And yes, I will add that picture, thanks, ancestry.com.