GUYS. MY FIRST IPSY BAG. I AM SO EXCITED.
For those of you who are responsible with your money, ipsy is a company that sends you bag with five makeup items every month in a fun bag and a super exciting pink mailer that is brighter than the sun.
FOR ONLY TEN DOLLARS. Or, what I make selling random crap of my kids’ that I find around the house. So in my newfound plan to be more fiscally responsible, I promised myself I would only keep the subscription as long as I made at least ten dollars in Kidscycle cash that month.
I know. I’ll be 29 in a few weeks. Be impressed with my almost adulthood.
Also full disclosure, this is a fake unbagging. Because when it actually arrived and I tore into it like a hungry jackal it was like 11pm, I had no makeup left, and had been eating cheese curds in the sun for like twelve hours.
I am capable of making fun of myself. But no way would those pictures have seen the light of day.
First of all, the bag.
How cute is this bag???? This bag is worth $10. (No it’s not. But it is cute.)
I love mermaids! (No I don’t. But it’s super cute for some reason.)
Score for the bag- 5/5 YES PLEASE KEEP ME SUBSCRIBED FOREVER.
Now, for the actual items. Omg. I was so excited. MAKEUP. I LOVE MAKEUP YOU GUYS. Especially makeup I’m not totally familiar with.
Overall, I was impressed. The sizes were all normal or deluxe sample, except for the face mask which was just one mask.
First up, the tarte LipSurgence lip crayon.
Guys, I love me some tarte cosmetics. I can’t get enough of them. And I literally can’t afford any of them so I just steal them occasionally from my mom.
WHAT? Her closet is like the back room at QVC.
It’s a place dreams are made.
This was definitely the same quality as a tarte lip pencil sold retail- deluxe sample size, but given that the full size is $24 and I can’t imagine using the whole thing (even with the amount I wear makeup) this is totally a steal in a bag like this.
The color is Wonder, a super pretty pinky berry shade.
It went on super nicely, really creamy, and my only complaints were the one that I have every time use a tarte lip pencil- the mint smell. Ugh. I hate it when lip products smell like mint. Sometimes I can get over it, but tarte takes it to a whole new level. Like, it’s not just a whiff of fragrance. I might as well be dipping a lip brush in a julep.
But I really really really love this formula, and it stayed on super nicely. So my hangup is just that, my hangup. Really good product though.
tarte lip pencil- 4/5 (sorry, I can’t get past the smell)
The next item was an eyeshadow trio by Jelly Pong Pong, in Neopolitan. I’ve never heard of the company before, but the little bunny rabbit on the packaging assures me they’re cruelty free.
Whatever. I’d like MY eyes to not swell shut guys. But you worry about the bunnies.
Anyway. This palette looked suuuper shimmery in the container. Like, wow. All the colors came nicely when I swatched them on my arm though, so I was willing to try it.
I did a pretty typical look for me- I used a matte shade in my crease, inner highlight, the pinky color on the lid, and then the dark brown in my outer v. I don’t think I did any liner here, so I must have used the brown as a liner too.
And holy disco balls, was it shiny.
(Also- holy forehead wrinkles batman. Is 28 too young for botox???)
I’ve been using my Kat von D palette every day lately, and that’s exclusively matte shades, so maybe I’m just not used to it. But the shimmer in this palette made me feel like it was 2002 and I was starting high school. Soooo much frostiness.
There was a ton of fallout from all the colors- I actually had to wash under my eyes again after finishing. The highlight shade was really nice, went on creamily and all that jazz. Blended well. I actually really liked the color of the dark brown too, it was shimmery, but not overwhelmingly so. Soooo much fallout, but it blended well and went on really pigmented the first few swipes.
The middle shade was just a total bust. It looked pigmented, but I tried for like ten minutes to pack it on my lid and I could barely even see it. And after like an hour I couldn’t even see it.
And by the end of the day of running errands, taking care of kids, and napping (don’t judge me), really only the dark brown was remaining, despite my using primer and a base shade.
So, meh. 2/5.
The next item was a Ciate nail polish in Dangerous Affair, a deep red shade that reminds me of the Essie color I wore for our wedding. This was a full sized bottle, and overall it was fine.
I did love the color, but I felt like it went on way too sheer. I needed three coats to get t he opaque look I was going for, and that was hard to keep without smudging. I put an Essie top coat on it, and once it dried I was happy with it. It’s been three days now, I think? I don’t have any chips on my left hand, and my right hand only has a few, which is pretty impressive given that I’ve been doing my normal washing dishes, cleaning, bathing kids, etc. (And my nails are total crap.)
So 4/5 for the nail polish. Good job coming back, ipsy bag!
The next product was a deluxe sample size of Nuema neuStyling Creme, a random hair anti-frizz thing. Meh. I don’t know, it was a hair cream. That’s great, but it’s not like I used it and immediately had the bob of a Hollywood starlet. (As this hideous picture shows.)
3/5- perfectly acceptable, but underwhelming and the full size version is only $9. Eh.
The last thing didn’t fit in the bag so I immediately flipped out and was all YOU SAID FIVE SAMPLES AND THERE ARE ONLY FOUR AND WAAAAHHHH SEND ME MORE STUFF.
But it was in the mailer. Okay. Whew. Crisis averted.
It’s one single face mask, which I love, but one? Really? Booo.
And then I figured out that the full size package is $117. So…one mask it is!
I did this yesterday while my kids were gone, because I have significantly less time for sitting around with weird shit on my face than I did in high school, the last time I religiously used masks. But I was so impressed by this one, I think I’m going to get back into them. (Not this one obvs. Again. $117.) My skin felt hydrated and smooth and the smell was really pleasant. I didn’t use moisturizer the rest of the day and I was totally hydrated.
Only one problem though….
I looked like a serial killer. I watch a lot of Criminal Minds and yeah, dude, this is exactly what somebody would do with somebody else’s face and then Hotch and Co would have to come in and restore our faith in humanity.
4/5, only because of the price of the actual product and the fact that I’m now on an FBI watch list.
Overall, this bag was fun. I really liked most of the products, and even the ones I wasn’t bowled over by had some redeeming features. I’ll definitely keep up the subscription for at least another month.
(Provided I can sell enough of my kids’ stuff.)