Quarter Life

This has been a bad week for my youth. I’m only 26, but in the last year or so there are definitely moments when I’ve thought “Absolutely not, I am too old for that…stuff.” A LOT of them happened this week.

I’ve been cleaning the basement and getting ready to move. I have a tendency to never throw anything away, and so I have clothes from literally every size I’ve been for the past six or so years. I have been A LOT of sizes, just fyi.

So I was sorting through them, and found myself going, “Nope, never again,” to things. And not just because they’re an absurd size that happy I-have-two-hours-every-day-to-exercise-and-I-hardly-ever-drink-and-eat-a-lot-of-broccoli! grad student me was and post-childbearing is-it-five-o’clock-yet? me will never, ever be again no matter what. But because grad-student me looked pretty ironically hot in the short plaid skirt and screw-me boots. Post-childbearing me (who still loves the boots, just with jeans or a tasteful skirt) would look ridiculous.

So there’s that.

I got super excited over organizing my seasonal decorations.

Yup. Just read that sentence. Literally every word is a cat sweatshirt and perm waiting to happen.

I’ve started using philosophy skin care products, and I realized that they actually work. As in, a wrinkle reducer ACTUALLY REDUCED WRINKLES on my skin.

I bought shorts. I always swore that only ugly Americans wore shorts, and there is no reason you can’t try just a little bit harder and wear a cute skirt or capris or something. But you know what? I’m tired. It’s hot, I’m tired, and, okay, they’re actually pretty cute.


And last night, I discovered that no matter how bad the day has been, how nicely the kids sleep, or how tasty it is, I can. not. do long island iced teas anymore. Oof.


Things I should do before meeting with my thesis director this morning:

1.) Shower.


I mean, my perfume smells okay, right?

2.) Take off last night’s eye makeup.

Bare Minerals- making laziness good for your skin since 1995.

3.) Think about taking off punky nail polish and then realize I have a fairly sedate Essie color and anything that costs $8 a bottle (more than I spend on wine) is totally office appropriate.

4.) Find something other than a “Copper Mountain” t-shirt to wear.

5.) Do some primary source research.

6.) Do some secondary source research.

7.) Admit that it’s actually August and I should probably do something, like, now.

8.) Have slight breakdown over thesis and magnitude of research and writing and question life goals and life in general and the existence of God.

9.) Google open management positions at McDonald’s.

I have a BA. It’s in Jewish studies, but it’s still a degree. I could be a shift manager, right?

10.) Figure that 8:15 is not too early to start drinking as long as it’s the good boxed stuff.