House Tour Tuesday: Living Room

You guys. I love my house. (I know, I know, I know, yesterday…it’s complicated.)

(But my new house is not complicated.)

(It’s just awesome.)

Here is the totally awesome living room, most of the decorating ideas in which I stole from Jen at This Hawk’s Nest.

And by stole, I mean blatently copied and found for way cheaper.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThis is, I think, my favorite view in the house. It makes me happy every morning coming down the stairs.

And my favorite part? I didn’t have to buy anything! Except for the rug. Totally awesome rug from Target.com. I know, I know, I know, one day people  are going to see these pictures and say, “Wow. 2014 much?” with the faux moroccan vibe, bu it makes me happy.

The sofa, leather thing, and end table were ours. The chest is my hope chest, and I finally got a man so I get to keep it now I guess. The piano was in my house growing up, and a neighbor generously let me keep it for the kids. I can’t wait until they learn to play from their grandma.

The bookcases are the finest Shopko has to offer. Eventually (when we stop hemorraghing cash from the move), I want our fabulous friend at Carl Allen Woodworks to build real bookcases in roughly that same spot.

The little black chairs are my favorite part, though. They were my grandparents’. They were in Blue Ribbon Hall at Pabst Brewery, and my grandpa ate lunch on them every day. When Pabst closed, my grandma bought a bunch and painted them white (as she did to everything that stood still long enough). My mom found them for me in the basement and spray-painted them black for me while I was tearing my hair out over the rest of the move.

(My mom. A real life Pinterest.

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Sofa table I stole from my mom. (A common decorating theme in my home.) I’m super excited to have a place to put my coffee table books where Buddy can’t destroy them for like another four or five days until he’s tall enough to reach the top of the table. I kept toys and blankets in the baskets underneath the table. Joey likes to roam around the house, and the more things I keep handy with which to distract him, the fewer fake candles he eats.

It’s also his current pooping spot. So that’s exciting.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAEven though it’s my formal living room. I stuck a tv in the corner because, well, I want to have the option of watching Orange is the New Black at all times, even while pretending to be fancy.

The secretary desk by the entrance was my grandpa’s, generously on loan from my sister. I’m hoping to replace it with something similar, but it will never be as special.

Seriously. I can’t tell you how happy I am in this house.

 

Moved. Past tense.

Dudes. We are moved.

Completely, totally, everything important is unpacked, and things are hung on the walls moved. Matt still has some memorabilia I couldn’t be trusted with, and we can’t technically find the Netflix DVD we had out when we moved, but eh, I would probably want to buy Amazing Grace to watch Benedict Cumberbatch over and over again.

Anyway.

WE’RE FINISHED. AND IT IS GLORIOUS. I’m planning on being one of those obnoxious bloggers who post house tours over the next couple of weeks, because I did a bunch of cool stuff in this house that I’m ridiculously in love with, and house bloggers bug me a little bit less than mommy bloggers, so I’m going to hitch my horse to that wagon.

(And by “I did a bunch of cool stuff I mean my mom had a bunch of ideas and when I said, “Oh, that’s awesome? But how will I get it/build it/put it together?” She responded “Your dad will have it here tomorrow!”)

(Young House Love shoutout. LOVE IT.)

In the meantime (while I’m over here hyperventilating over having to sell my other house), have a post about moving, as told by iPhone photos. Or, the only thing I could find until a few days ago.

The whole time we lived at the new house (or at least as long as I had lived there), we talked about having drinks on the patio. It seemed so idyllic and adorable and relaxing and I just couldn’t imagine anything more awesome. Except. We never actually did it, we just talked about it.

Until the last night. I demanded that we have drinks on the patio once before we move.

photo 5Using our super classy solo cups, because I’d packed everything else.

And then the mosquitoes started attacking and we realized why we didn’t ever really have drinks on the patio before.

The next morning I was quite excited (and exhausted) (and stressed).

photo 1 (3)And wearing braids like Anna from Frozen! (According to Squeaks.)

Buddy was less excited that he was being corralled by various grandmothers in attempt to keep him alive.

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The movers showed up-

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Squeaks’ response was “Those are the strongest men I’ve ever seen!”

(True dat.)

I got tired thinking about moving Matt’s desk to vacuum. They carried it up the stairs without, like, thinking about it.

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They got to our new house, unloaded everything, and I spent the rest of the day unpacked, putting away, and rolling around naked in ALL OF MY STUFF IN MY NEW HOME LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

(I kid.)

(My parents were over.)

My sister made us a cake with house on it, because she’s awesome like that.

photo (6)Joey had a bunch of stories about his first night in the house.

photo 3 (2) He slept! Really! Like for twelve hours! I swear, this house in enchanted.

And then my dad played peek-a-boo with him and moved all my patio furniture around.

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ANYWAY. Now we’re in the new house and freed up to do lots of awesome things like have drinks! On the patio! For real!

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(Happiness apparently an alternative to makeup.)

And entertain in my awesome dining room!

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And garden in my not-garden!

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(And by that I mean get my brother to do most of the work and then transplant some flowers.)

And have lovely Saturday mornings with my coffee and Facebook while my kids play on the swing set!

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And take my son to the emergency room because he can’t be trusted on changing tables for 1//8th of a second apparently!

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(Thus bringing the number of times I’ve stood in this living room with paramedics to TOO DAMN MANY.)

(Also, happiest ER baby ever, amiright?)

The only problem with the house has been lodged by Buddy. I won’t let him play out in the road with the trash collector trucks, even though they’re really cool.

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I know. I’m pretty mean.

Reasonably Priced Listing: Midwestern Suburb Edition

You guys. I’ve discovered a new show- Million Dollar Listing. It is glorious. It’s hilariously earnest about things that absolutely don’t matter just like the Real Housewives shows, and features a series of fabulous gentlemen brokers with shellacked hair, tans that don’t quit, and wardrobes that definitely cost more than my car.

They have little hissy fits, and make more money than I’ve ever seen on single commissions, and generally exist in a Bravo-created world that in my fairly inexperienced opinion, doesn’t exactly exist in the real world of buying and selling homes.

The open houses are amazing- people are always fabulously dressed, and there are drinks and hors d’oeuvres, and people pretend to be not at all interested and oh, yes, that’s a lovely sky vault you have there, I don’t know, we saw one in Soho we liked…

I’m fairly certain when we sell our house, it will involve something a little bit more like this.

*opens door*

Oh! Hi! Are you here to see the house? Awesome. Yeah, we really need to sell it. Like, fast. I am sick of driving.

Champagne? No, we don’t have any champagne. Uh, I might be able to find some apple juice the kids didn’t drink…wine? Nope. That’s mine. Don’t touch.

Here, let’s go into the dining room. Uh, just ignore the baby in the corner eating coffee grounds out the K-cup he found somewhere.*

As you can see, there are lots of windows that haven’t been cleaned since my mother-in-law stayed here. But, uh, they’re pretty! And it’s an open concept which- Buddy! No! No no! That’s not for you!- uh, I hear that a lot on HGTV. It’s good. Definitely.

Um. Three bedrooms. Perfect for separating children who were SUPER excited to be a big sister when you were pregnant and then once the screaming, wriggly, red thing came home quickly changed their minds- Squeaks! Get Buddy away from there!- anyway, lots of room.

The closet, as you can see, is quite spacious. Big enough to hold a wedding dress you haven’t had cleaned yet because you got pregnant so fast you didn’t have the energy to do so…also all the baby stuff that you demanded your husband re-purchase because pregnancy made you crazy and you had to do everything for yourself even though the kid outgrew everything within, like, minutes, and you didn’t really have any idea what having a baby would be like anyway (Bumbo? Really? I needed a separate one of that. Really?)

Attic? Yeah, there is one. I don’t know, I’ve never been up there- Squeaks! Get off of there! Uh, basement. You can hardly hear the kids from down there. I used to take naps down there when I was pregnant. If you open the vent it’s not dangerous- you can hear screaming, I mean, just not like the normal everyday, “I see imaginary monsters and I’m scared come get me” stuff…uh, room for a lot of exercise equipment we don’t use! And an elliptical that gets ooh, gosh, maybe 20 minutes of use a day four or five days a week. I know. I’m in pretty good shape- BUDDY. NO. THAT’S A NO NO.

Diploma frames? Oh yeah, those are ours. Yeah, I used to be accomplished. Empty? Oh, yeah, I know. Well, see, I have the degree I just need to call and clear up some clerical oversight- BUDDY SERIOUSLY STOP IT- um. Bar! We have a bar! It’s awesome. I love it.

Um. Bathrooms…yeah, I don’t know, they’re nice? Lots of room for you to puke when you have morning sickness or pre-eclampsia? I don’t know if that’s a concern for you…are you married? Does your wife have a history of high blood pressure in her family? Anyway. New plumbing.

Teeth marks? On the door frame? Nope. Uh, don’t see them. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Our son does not chew at woodwork like a rabbit. Absolutely not.

So as you can see, it’s a great house. Are you interested? You know what? Let’s open that  wine now. It’s afternoonish.

Ooh, I almost forgot! The hallway that your kid can crawl up and down for hours! Perfect! It’s like a baby racetrack!

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*Yeah. That happened.