February ipsy- Meh.

Ugh, guys. I was not impressed this month with my ipsy. Ipsy consistently knocks it out of the park and gives me stuff I LOOOVE and wouldn’t get to try otherwise. Not this month. This month it’s like here, have a bunch of stuff that will destroy your face and a $3 lipstick.

Even the bag kind of sucks- it’s all soft and denim “like your favorite pair of jeans,” according to the website. Problem number one. Jeans are not soft and comfy. Leggings are soft and comfy. Give me an ipsy bag that doesn’t give me muffin top and then we’ll talk.


The products were underwhelming. The NYX butter lipstick is awesome. I’ve worn it every day this week and it can a light wash of color or you can build the coverage. But it’s an NYX lipstick. Those are not that expensive and available at Walgreens. Not impressed.

The Trust Fund Beauty nail color is good, too, but nail polish is kind of inherently underwhelming.

The Marsk Mineral Eyeshadow in You’re Toast is cute, I guess, but I’ve literally gotten almost exactly the same shade in shimmery, fall-out-y eyeshadow in these bags the last few months. Meh.

The other two products I couldn’t even use. The Briogeo Rosarco Blow Dry Perfector was made with argan oil, and I tried the VENeffect Skin Care Anti-Aging Lip Treatment which is supposed to plump without stinging. Not true. It stings. A lot. And I really don’t like plumping products because anything that inherently causes an allergic reaction bugs me.

So yeah. Meh.


January Ipsy Unbagging!

Practically February ipsy unbagging if you ask me. Did anyone else not get theirs until like last week? It was horrible. I mean, I pay AN ENTIRE TEN DOLLARS FOR THIS STUFF AND DAMMIT I WANT TO WHINE ABOUT IT AT THE EARLIEST POSSIBLE MOMENT.

No, I’m kidding. I don’t hate this month’s bag.

Well okay, that’s a lie. I hate this month’s actual bag. It’s all gray and blue and looks like gym shorts from the late ’90s. As someone who got “mono” halfway through first semester of freshman year and somehow had to sit out the rest of the year of gym, it’s not really my aesthetic.

See? Gym shorts.

I’m more enthusiastic about the actual products. There isn’t one I hate, and I’m super into like three of them.

First up, the SLMiss Glam Blend Beauty Brush L34. This is a good eyeshadow blending brush, but I’ve been using it in my crease mostly when I want more pigmentation there. It’s awesome. I haven’t cleaned it yet, so I’m not sure how the quality holds up, but first impressions are good.

The Temptu Base Smooth and Matte primer is also great. I love me some primers, and I never get them in the bags, so I was super excited. It smells like turpentine when you open it, which admittedly is not always what I’m going for when putting things on my face. But it worked really nicely on my sensitive skin, mattefying and helping my pores like it was supposed to. I wouldn’t say it’s the longest lasting primer ever, definitely not a smashbox quality, but certainly better than the drug store.

I received an eyeshadow this month, the StarCrushed Minerals Metallic Eyeshadow in “Aged to Perfection Champagne.” It’s a great color, and I was looking forward to using it. Unfortuantely, the fallout is huge. It gets EVERYWHERE. But once I started using a wet brush to pat in on, I really enjoyed the product. The color payoff is amazing and it’s great for a metallic look in the center of your lid or as an inner corner highlight.

Just…don’t do your face first. Cuz it’s gonna get sparkly.

Two products I haven’t tried yet- the Ciate London GELOLOGY Top Coat. (I know that’s not a real word.) and the Pur-Lisse Blue Lotus Mud Mask. I’m trying to give my nails a break because I had them in gel colors for like two solid months around the holidays, and they are ROUGH. Like, seriously. My nails make me look like I have a drug problem. But I’ll try it as soon as I start using polish again. I’m generally hesitant to praise top coats because a.) they’re boring and b.) usually they have to work with a specific chemical compound in the color polish, which unless it’s the same brand is impossible to guarantee. But we’ll see.

The mud mask I’m much more excited for. I love all masks. The peely ones. The paper ones. The mud ones. Even those see-through ones that make you look like a serial killer. LOVE LOVE LOVE. So I’m super psyched to try this one once this horrid cold is gone and the thought of touching my nose with anything other than a literal angel wing makes me want to vomit.

4/5 this month for ipsy. Can’t wait to get the next one in a few weeks!

Ipsy December Unbagging!

Here in the 21st century it’s not so much fun to get the mail. I mean, I don’t even get bills in the mail. Those are taken care of in a monthly “discussion” with Buzz about how Sephora doesn’t count as groceries. It’s basically just the village newsletter and real estate pamphlets. Seriously guys, we’re not moving. I’m getting carted out of here in a bag.


But I do get ipsy, so that’s a super fun mail day. And it’s almost always a surprise. (Because their tracking software SERIOUSLY lacks.)

This month was amazing. Like, seriously. I absolutely love literally everything in it. img_6101

The bag itself this month? Meh. Not my jam. It’s like a fake cheap fur with sparkles that go everywhere and Lord knows I do not need more to clean up. I gave it to my six-year-old, who loves all manner of tacky things, as she is a six-year-old.

She loves it.

I received a concealer brush from some random company, a theBalm mascara, Hanalei Lip Treatment, a sparkly copper eyeshadow from M Princess, and Tarte Maracuja Oil

If there was a dud in the bag, it was the concealer brush. I have a ton of brushes and while I am ALWAYS excited to get new high quality ones, overall I’m not overwhelmed with the quality of the ones I’ve received in subscription bags. And concealer brushes aren’t terribly helpful for me, since I’m in a beauty blender stage. But I use them for eye shadow or contouring or something. It was a perfectly good brush, just not exciting or amazing.

The lip treatment is super good. It’s a very thick, vaseline-like consistency. Here in the frozen tundra, that’s super nice. I drink gallons of water a day, constantly reapply lip balm, and I’m still always dry. I slather this on while I’m getting ready after a lip exfoliant treatment and by the time I’m ready for lipstick my lips are soft and hydrated.

And they stay that way too, for like five minutes. That’s not the product’s problem. That’s the fact that I live on Hoth.

The eyeshadow is interesting. I wasn’t sure I was into it at first, because when I opened it, it exploded and glitter literally floated through the air. I’m not a huge glitter person, so I didn’t think I was going to use it a whole lot.

But the base color is a really nice maple-copper, and I’ve fooled around with it enough to know that if use it dry as a highlight in the middle of my lid, it’s lovely. Today I used a wet brush and packed it on the inner two thirds of my lid as the main color, blending with a matte brown in the outer v and crease. It came out really nicely I think- winter-y and fun but not overpowering.


The mascara is AMAZING YO. It’s a really nice curved brush, and the consistency is more of a gel than a liquid.


I have crap lashes and I didn’t do anything except curl them here I was really impressed. My only complaint is that that the container doesn’t close easily- maybe mine is broken or something, but I have to push the wand in really hard.

(Undereye wrinkles say hey.)

My favorite though? The Tarte Maracuja Oil. I can’t use most oils because I’m allergic to argan oil. And again, THE AIR IS HURTING MY FACE. Mama needs an oil. This one is AMAZING. I use three or four drops at night instead of a moisturizer. If I go without makeup for a day I just slather it on several times during the day.

I legitimately have noticed a difference in the brilliance of my skin. My major problem with wrinkles is around my mouth (probably from pursing my lips in disgust so frequently) and on my forehead. I feel like I’m inordinately wrinkled for being 29 and taking relatively good care of myself, but whatever. This has made my mouth a lot better and my forehead even a little bit too. I am totally in love. It’s a decent sized sample, and I will definitely replace it when I run out.

5/5 this month, ipsy. I’m glad you won out over Birchbox.



Ipsy and Birchbox November Unbox/bagging!

Birchbox first- because it mostly sucks. This month is all about “the finishing touch- those extra, just because details that make all the difference.”

No. I want real shit that I use all the time. I don’t want random “finishing touches.”


The box is beautiful. LIke, seriously. It will hold something out in my bathroom, because’s it’s gorgeous. All damask and blues and pinks and whites. Lovely. .

First off, the duds. It’s not really their fault that they’re duds, but this month I got two oil samples (one for hair, one a dry oil for hair or face or whatever I guess) but they both are made with argan oil. I’m allergic to argan oil. I ended up selling them on my b/s/t site, but I’m just like seriously? 2/5 of the box is shit I can’t even open and play with? Not fair. I feel like there should be an allergy thingy you can specify.

So that sucks.

The other stuff is surprisingly good! The sample I picked this month was the Chella Eyebrow pencil in Tantalizing Taupe. I’m  not super into eyebrows, because mine do not lend themselves to shaping, or so I thought. I have a pretty good system in place with the products I do use, so I wasn’t really looking for stuff, but I always like playing. This is really good. I can finish the tail and everything. It’s a little dark for me but not too bad if I don’t use a ton. I think it could work for a lot of skin tones.

The pencil is tiny, and that’s great for getting realistic brows. It’s also a really big sample. The pencil is normal sized for holding, and the product itself is like two inches. So a pretty good value.

I also got the Marcelle New Age LumiPower 3-in-1 Moisturizer. It’s a pretty small sample, but overall seems to work okay. I’m using it as an eyecream, and I can’t say I’ve noticed a huge difference, but it’s nicely plumping when I put it on.

The winner this month is the Dr. Lipp Miracle Balm. It’s also a tiny sample, but it’s a really nice almost Vaseline type balm. You’re supposed to be able to use it on your brows, cuticles, or wherever as well as lips. I’m just using it on my lips. I think I might buy this one- it’s really nice.


Ipsy was, as usual, the better of the two this month. The theme was “rockstarlet” hah see what they did there. The bag was super cute with little constellations of makeup on it.

These bags, guys. I’m in love with the bags.


I loved each and every single sample in here. I KNOW. Said no one in subscription history. BUT I DID.

I received the Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara, which is a lovely as it’s the actual mascara I use all the days I don’t wear falsies. So that’s super fun. I also got the Luxie Beauty Rose Gold Small Duo Fiber Brush, which is basically a small stipple brush. I’m not crazy about the way it applies cream products, but it’s great with powder.


The Hey Honey Good Morning Honey Silk Facial Serum is AMAZEBALLS. I’m using it every morning instead of my When Hope is Not Enough, and while it’s pretty much the same for my skin, this one makes makeup sit more nicely on my skin. I KNOW.

The Absolute New York Matte Stick in Dark Red was a disappointment at first. I tried it on and I couldn’t even get a good even color off of the tip. But once I wore it down for a little bit, it’s like the perfect red for me. True red with blue undertones. Deeper in color than like Ruby Woo, but not vampy. Really, really pretty.

The winner though is the Eyeko Skinny Liquid Eyeliner in Black. I’m not a huge liquid eyeliner girl since I rarely do wings. But I do wear it whenever I wear falsies to cover the band and I find myself reaching for it literally every time. It’s a smaller sample, but the consistency is not too liquid that it runs, it dries unbelievably fast and DOES. NOT. MOVE. I wore it for like fifteen hours on Thanksgiving to church, parties, and HOSTING a party, so a big sweaty day. That ish did not move. Also a teeny little applicator which makes application a breeze for those of us who aren’t totally comfy with it yet.


Look at that TINY LINE YO.

Birchbox- bye, baby. You’re done (again.)